"Well..." It's true that he would. He would complain about always being the one to cook their meals, but he has found that keeping busy keeps his mind from falling too deep into other thoughts.
"'Tis one thing to do it voluntarily and another to do it as a chore. As it happens, I find a certain comfort in preparing a meal these days."
"Then~... on the days you do not want to cook, I can take that responsibility."
Hythlodaeus finally seats himself at the table to finish his sandwich, even if he is loath to let go of his friend. But he is rather happy to know that Hades still has things that bring him joy in life, even despite all that he's been through.
"We could even start a recipe book! I am curious as to what the locals eat as well."
"You've been here for several moons already and haven't tried the food?" He diligently puts all the leftover food away and cleans what he used to prepare the sandwich. "You were enjoying yourself on the beach, weren't you?"
"Certainly! But I did not particularly distinguish between what was truly native food and what the inventions of other visitors. But that does sound rather fun, does it not? Trying different things together?"
He shoots Hades another smug look as a thought occurs.
"I could even make you a less-sweet version of that drink I was selling."
"Would that not be akin to leaving out the sugar whilst baking a cake? Some things are simply meant to be sweet."
He does like the idea of trying out food together though. This is what he's been missing - the companionship of travel. Seeing new sights and having new experiences means nothing without someone to share them with.
"Like me!" Hythlodaeus responds cheerfully at the remark about some things being meant to be sweet... although it's up for debate whether he's sweet or simply aggravating.
Hythlodaeus smirks to himself at Hades's long-suffering expression, but leans closer to his friend when he sits down. He lets the touch linger for a few moments, then turns his hand over to lace his fingers with Hades's.
"As long as you tell me what you've forgotten," Hythlodaeus answers, his tone obviously joking before it grows softer. "But of course I will remind you. Ah, speaking of which... didn't you want to hear me sing?"
"I did," he says quietly, squeezing the hand he holds. "All I have left are fragments of remnants of a long lost time. I was never one for song to begin with. The arts, yes, but what use were they when fire rained from the skies?"
Hades shakes his head in disgust at himself. "I took upon the burden of remembering, but in the end, how much did I remember of our people? Not enough to truly do our legacy justice."
"One man cannot shoulder the burdens of a whole people, Hades," Hythlodaeus responds softly. "That is why we have the Convocation. And exceptional in many ways though you are, I would tell you to remember that you are just one man."
Though his tone is light and soothing, the subject at hand is a heavy one even for Hythlodaeus. He finds himself wondering whether he should speak of the Convocation in the past tense, and his mind rebels at the idea. To Hythlodaeus, their people yet live; there is still hope of averting disaster.
He similarly leans his head against Hades's. Considering his friend's shyness even this more subtle expression of affection feels rather new and exciting; Hythlodaeus can't help wanting to enjoy it as much as he can.
"Or mayhap we should both have gone with Azem. Maybe with the three of us we could find the solution..." He sighs softly, then smiles. "But wondering about what-ifs won't get us anywhere much. We are both here right now, Hades."
"Yes... We are. And I will never let you go ever again."
There's a turning point here. Hades could abandon the Ascians' plans to go through with the Rejoining of the First. The yearning to revive Zodiark and bring back their people (as well as his slumbering friend) has never tugged more strongly at his heart. If he does give up on their plans, as Elidibus so clearly has, he could remain here for as long as this body holds out. Even if it withers and ages, he can simply find another. Surely?
Hades has never been one to make plans in haste. He leans over and takes a small bite of the sandwich in Hythlodaeus' hand then settles back.
Is it really alright for him to act selfishly now? How can he just abandon all those who gave their lives to see their star survive the Final Days?
"...If you had the chance, would you leave this place and return home? To my past self, to Azem?"
Such an open declaration of possessiveness makes Hythlodaeus's heart skip a beat, even if he can understand that the undercurrent of thought behind that statement is rather darker than simple desire.
"Mm? And would you let me go, if I did?" As ever, his answer is joking at first, even if Hythlodaeus realizes a little too late that it might not be a good idea to joke about it at all. "But in seriousness..."
Hythlodaeus looks down at his sandwich, then pinches off a little bit and brings the morsel up to Hades's lips.
As Hythlodaeus suspects, Hades' grip on his hand tightens. His lips delicately take the morsel of bread and he swallows it, the simple motion calming him enough to answer levelly.
"I would keep you here if I could, although I dislike our present circumstances. I feel like half a man without all my magicks to call upon and our lack of freedom...it chafes at times."
He has grown used to wandering the world, seeing something new every century. He doesn't know if he could settle if they did stay. Would he grow bored after a few decades and crave new sights?
Hades' expression falls slightly. "That said, of the two of us, you have a greater chance of successful rehabilitation. We may not have a choice in the matter."
Hythlodaeus hums briefly, letting his hand linger near Hades's lips. It's so like his friend to worry so much about things that have yet to come to pass (if they come to pass at all, that is). The thought is comforting, yet at the same time Hythlodaeus wants Hades to feel comfortable most of all. Hades did not need so many lines upon his brow when they were young already; with the added eyebags, pale skin and gaunt features he looks even more glum than ever.
Hmmm.
"Mayhap I simply need to commit some more misdeeds here to avoid early rehabilitation. Right, Hades?~"
With that he raises his other hand, too, in order to... take Hades's cheeks and pull them up. Come on, a smile better suits a hero his boyfriend!
He squawks a little in surprise (a funny little sound that Hythlodaeus is sure to cherish). He reaches up instinctively to grab at his partner's wrists, trying to push or pull them away from him.
His speech may be muffled by the forced smile. "Don't be foolish, Hythlodaeus. I'm not worth a deliberate misdemeanour. You ought to return home and-- and love me as I was. Not as I am now."
That's right. As much as he wants Hythlodaeus to remain, he thinks he would prefer to cherish memories created in their idyllic home. Not here where the trauma of the past twelve thousand years weighs him down.
He certainly does cherish that undignified squawk, as he does the memory of every time he managed to completely bypass Hades's strict-and-serious demeanour. And though Hades pushes at his hands, Hythlodaeus doesn't quite let go, not until the other man finishes speaking.
"Oh? Can I not love you as you were and as you are now?"
Hythlodaeus lets go of Hades's cheeks finally, although he does not pull away entirely: instead he cups his friend's face in his hands.
As he's forced to stare into Hythlodaeus' eyes, he finds himself overwhelmed once more by the deep, desperate affection he has locked away for so many millennia. Everything about himself is wrong though. He's shorter, his face is not so long, his eyes, hair, nose, lips - all these small things you see every day in a mirror are not him. Hythlodaeus will not realise until later, but Hades has taken down all the mirrors in the house.
He can't bear the thought of growing accustomed to this face and this body. If he forgets who he is, then he truly will be lost. Hythlodaeus loves Hades, not Solus.
He is Hades, holder of the Third Seat of the Convocation of Fourteen.
He is Hades...
He is--
He surges forward abruptly and kisses his friend full on the mouth. Much like in the labyrinth, the kiss contains his desperation and loneliness.
Now it's Hythlodaeus's turn to make a sound of surprise; he'd expected his friend to huff about how he's not foolish, not a kiss. And so Hythlodaeus can't help blushing, but it's not like he's going to complain - quite the opposite. Once he regains his composure a little, he rests a hand at the back of Hades's head and kisses back, trying to match Hades's pace if a little clumsily; he has rather less experience than his friend.
But at the same time Hythlodaeus can't help but wonder what exactly prompted this bout of desperation. Of course, Hades has been away from him for a terribly long time, but...
Perhaps there is not much point in pondering it right now, especially when he can simply ask later. Instead Hythlodaeus rests his other hand on Hades's shoulder, fingers digging in a little as he lets himself get lost in the kiss.
It's pure selfishness, the kiss. At some point Hades realises that he's perhaps pushing for too much too fast and tones down his fervour to give Hythlodaeus a chance to collect himself. Hades tastes the sandwich his friend had been eating, absently helps put it aside in favour of losing himself to the kiss as well.
When he's finally satisfied, his face has a light flush and he's gazing at Hythlodaeus with undisguised longing. His hand reaches up and he gently brushes his friend's cheek with the backs of his fingers.
"While I wear this face, I cannot truly be 'me'," he says quietly. "I stole this body from a man named Solus. I snuffed out his soul and took its place. What if I say that I don't want you to love me as I am now but remember me as I once was?"
While Hythlodaeus would love to deny it, his face is rather more flushed than Hades's, unused as he is to such displays of affection - including the stroking of his cheek. Isn't he supposed to be the shameless one here?
But Hades's words help sober Hythlodaeus up. He pauses at the mention of his friend snuffing out another's soul, as though not quite able to believe it. Helping send an already departed soul on to the Underworld is one thing; doing that to a living person is another. And even though part of Hythlodaeus's brain can't help wondering how exactly that would work, the rest of him feels uneasy at the casual way Hades says that.
It may well have to be another matter they discuss in more detail later.
Hythlodaeus sighs softly, returning to the present, and raises a hand to cover Hades's.
"That may be so... but you must remember that my... our eyes are not quite like those of others. Whatever you may look like, the one I see before me is Hades."
He's aware of his own tempering. Yet of course, what servant of their god would ever say that they didn't want to serve them?
His lips part as though to speak but...the words won't come. A part of him rebels at the thought of ever carving Zodiark's essence out of his own soul. It had been the only way he could still feel connected to Hythlodaeus these past twelve thousand years or so.
"I-- chose this. Why should I give it up?" he replies haltingly. Elidibus' admonishment and warning to not harm the Warrior of Light comes to mind. "Zodiark saved our star. I will serve Him to my dying breath."
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"Well..." It's true that he would. He would complain about always being the one to cook their meals, but he has found that keeping busy keeps his mind from falling too deep into other thoughts.
"'Tis one thing to do it voluntarily and another to do it as a chore. As it happens, I find a certain comfort in preparing a meal these days."
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Hythlodaeus finally seats himself at the table to finish his sandwich, even if he is loath to let go of his friend. But he is rather happy to know that Hades still has things that bring him joy in life, even despite all that he's been through.
"We could even start a recipe book! I am curious as to what the locals eat as well."
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With that...'bubble tea' or whatever it was.
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He shoots Hades another smug look as a thought occurs.
"I could even make you a less-sweet version of that drink I was selling."
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"Would that not be akin to leaving out the sugar whilst baking a cake? Some things are simply meant to be sweet."
He does like the idea of trying out food together though. This is what he's been missing - the companionship of travel. Seeing new sights and having new experiences means nothing without someone to share them with.
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"I see your lack of humility is as I remember it."
It's achingly familiar yet also foreign. Hesitantly, he reaches out to touch Hythlodaeus' hand.
"Would you remind me of the things I've forgotten?"
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"As long as you tell me what you've forgotten," Hythlodaeus answers, his tone obviously joking before it grows softer. "But of course I will remind you. Ah, speaking of which... didn't you want to hear me sing?"
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Hades shakes his head in disgust at himself. "I took upon the burden of remembering, but in the end, how much did I remember of our people? Not enough to truly do our legacy justice."
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Though his tone is light and soothing, the subject at hand is a heavy one even for Hythlodaeus. He finds himself wondering whether he should speak of the Convocation in the past tense, and his mind rebels at the idea. To Hythlodaeus, their people yet live; there is still hope of averting disaster.
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"I should have joined you back then. I'm sorry."
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"Or mayhap we should both have gone with Azem. Maybe with the three of us we could find the solution..." He sighs softly, then smiles. "But wondering about what-ifs won't get us anywhere much. We are both here right now, Hades."
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There's a turning point here. Hades could abandon the Ascians' plans to go through with the Rejoining of the First. The yearning to revive Zodiark and bring back their people (as well as his slumbering friend) has never tugged more strongly at his heart. If he does give up on their plans, as Elidibus so clearly has, he could remain here for as long as this body holds out. Even if it withers and ages, he can simply find another. Surely?
Hades has never been one to make plans in haste. He leans over and takes a small bite of the sandwich in Hythlodaeus' hand then settles back.
Is it really alright for him to act selfishly now? How can he just abandon all those who gave their lives to see their star survive the Final Days?
"...If you had the chance, would you leave this place and return home? To my past self, to Azem?"
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"Mm? And would you let me go, if I did?" As ever, his answer is joking at first, even if Hythlodaeus realizes a little too late that it might not be a good idea to joke about it at all. "But in seriousness..."
Hythlodaeus looks down at his sandwich, then pinches off a little bit and brings the morsel up to Hades's lips.
"I would not want to leave without you."
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"I would keep you here if I could, although I dislike our present circumstances. I feel like half a man without all my magicks to call upon and our lack of freedom...it chafes at times."
He has grown used to wandering the world, seeing something new every century. He doesn't know if he could settle if they did stay. Would he grow bored after a few decades and crave new sights?
Hades' expression falls slightly. "That said, of the two of us, you have a greater chance of successful rehabilitation. We may not have a choice in the matter."
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Hmmm.
"Mayhap I simply need to commit some more misdeeds here to avoid early rehabilitation. Right, Hades?~"
With that he raises his other hand, too, in order to... take Hades's cheeks and pull them up. Come on, a smile better suits
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His speech may be muffled by the forced smile. "Don't be foolish, Hythlodaeus. I'm not worth a deliberate misdemeanour. You ought to return home and-- and love me as I was. Not as I am now."
That's right. As much as he wants Hythlodaeus to remain, he thinks he would prefer to cherish memories created in their idyllic home. Not here where the trauma of the past twelve thousand years weighs him down.
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"Oh? Can I not love you as you were and as you are now?"
Hythlodaeus lets go of Hades's cheeks finally, although he does not pull away entirely: instead he cups his friend's face in his hands.
"Now who's being foolish."
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He can't bear the thought of growing accustomed to this face and this body. If he forgets who he is, then he truly will be lost. Hythlodaeus loves Hades, not Solus.
He is Hades, holder of the Third Seat of the Convocation of Fourteen.
He is Hades...
He is--
He surges forward abruptly and kisses his friend full on the mouth. Much like in the labyrinth, the kiss contains his desperation and loneliness.
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But at the same time Hythlodaeus can't help but wonder what exactly prompted this bout of desperation. Of course, Hades has been away from him for a terribly long time, but...
Perhaps there is not much point in pondering it right now, especially when he can simply ask later. Instead Hythlodaeus rests his other hand on Hades's shoulder, fingers digging in a little as he lets himself get lost in the kiss.
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When he's finally satisfied, his face has a light flush and he's gazing at Hythlodaeus with undisguised longing. His hand reaches up and he gently brushes his friend's cheek with the backs of his fingers.
"While I wear this face, I cannot truly be 'me'," he says quietly. "I stole this body from a man named Solus. I snuffed out his soul and took its place. What if I say that I don't want you to love me as I am now but remember me as I once was?"
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But Hades's words help sober Hythlodaeus up. He pauses at the mention of his friend snuffing out another's soul, as though not quite able to believe it. Helping send an already departed soul on to the Underworld is one thing; doing that to a living person is another. And even though part of Hythlodaeus's brain can't help wondering how exactly that would work, the rest of him feels uneasy at the casual way Hades says that.
It may well have to be another matter they discuss in more detail later.
Hythlodaeus sighs softly, returning to the present, and raises a hand to cover Hades's.
"That may be so... but you must remember that my... our eyes are not quite like those of others. Whatever you may look like, the one I see before me is Hades."
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"Even that has changed though. Surely you've noticed..."
Zodiark's touch upon his soul. He can't see it himself but he has seen how it affected their brethren aeons ago after the summoning.
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Hythlodaeus moves a little closer, eyes trained on Hades's face.
"I do not dislike it. But... do you?"
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His lips part as though to speak but...the words won't come. A part of him rebels at the thought of ever carving Zodiark's essence out of his own soul. It had been the only way he could still feel connected to Hythlodaeus these past twelve thousand years or so.
"I-- chose this. Why should I give it up?" he replies haltingly. Elidibus' admonishment and warning to not harm the Warrior of Light comes to mind. "Zodiark saved our star. I will serve Him to my dying breath."
Literally, he thinks with a silent, bitter laugh.
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