emet_sulk | [avalon] IC Inbox

It would be a lie to say that Hythlodaeus is not utterly curious about what the mortal races have achieved, how close or different from their own world's their scientific lines of thinking are... but something else takes precedence in his mind.

He watches Hades carefully for a time, trying to decide what to say. He isn't stupid in the least, whatever anyone might say, and the wording does not escape him. Though it looms in his mind, Hythlodaeus has not yet given much thought as to what might happen after their task here is complete - what might happen to Hades. As he understood it, his friend is both alive and dead, twelve thousand years ahead of Hythlodaeus himself, and where would he have to go once this is over?

All heavy thoughts and ones that require careful discussion. No, they do not know enough about this world yet, about what it is they must do to save their own. It would likely be foolish in addition to disheartening to bring it up now.

"I would love to see such a record, indeed. I wonder if there are any crystals fitting for the purpose here... They seem to use these tomestones for storing and transferring information as well, but I do not have a firm grasp on the principles yet. It seems to be done more... manually than what we are used to. I must needs confess I find my wrists a little sore from the typing at times."

He shakes his head in faint exasperation. "You need not type it all, 'Daeus. The device can record your voice and image. Still tedious, to be sure, but far easier on your hands."

Hades toys with the remnants of his cake. "That said, I should think crystals with the ideal composition for record-keeping can be found more easily here than in the prior world I found myself in. That world knew nothing of the existence of magic. This one, however, must surely be brimming with it to have such diverse disciplines. I suspect you could apply your cognitive magic to it and record memories that way with enough practice."

Hythlodaeus hums curiously, all earlier thoughts forgotten at the prospect of putting his newfound talents to use and finding out more about Avalon.

"That may be possible indeed. After all, if one of the applications is being able to transfer my thoughts to others, same must be possible with other suitable vessels. In fact, I do wonder about the aetheric composition of objects here - would it be the same as in our world, or different somehow? 'Tis truly a curse not to have the Sight anymore. I never realized how much I took it for granted."

He sighs, finishing the last of his tea.

"But surely the construction of an appropriate vessel must fall to you, the alchemist. Have you had much success in the discipline yet, by the way?"

He concurs with a low hum and polishes off the remainder of his food. This has been a pleasant outing. Were they to discover a means to preserve memory, this would be amongst the first he committed to record.

"No. The idea did not come to me until just now." He leans back, hands clasped in his lap. "I'm sure 'twill be a simple incantation. Finding the raw ingredients will be the tricky part. We must needs find some sort of aetherically charged lode if we don't wish to spend the coin to buy one. I shall have to ask around."

Hythlodaeus drums his fingers on the table thoughtfully.

"You've the right of it. Not to mention, we've yet to secure a proper source of income, and if we are to experiment we are likely to need a large amount of raw material. I also wonder whether 'tis possible to solicit help from these 'fae'... As I understand it, they are the peoples of this world most attuned to aether, their skills on par with ours."

"Hythlodaeus," he growls, "have you forgotten that your initial dealing with the fae got you into debt?! Even in the world you've yet to know, fae-kind are not to be trifled with."

He vents a sigh and closes his eyes briefly. "Before asking favours of them, we will have to prepare adequate compensation."

He grins, absolutely undeterred by the scolding.

"But if I hadn't gotten in debt, would we still be here like this? I'd like to think 'twas my ingenuity that brought us together."

That is, regrettably, true, and Hades scowls harder for it.

"Regardless," he says crisply, "take more care when making deals with the fae. I am not going to bail you out of trouble every time."

Glancing at the remains of their meal, he sees they're both done. "Did you have further plans for today?"

He laughs, easily.

"Aside from spending time with you? Not particularly. We may as well head back - I imagine you must needs be eager to get back in bed."

Just a reference to his penchant for napping and naught more.

He rolls his eyes and starts to stand, taking out his phone as he does to squint at the paltry amount of gold he has. It should be enough to cover his share at least, he hopes.

Once they've settled the bill, he holds out his hand for Hythlodaeus to hold as they walk back.

Hythlodaeus has to use part of his borrowed gold to pay for the meal on his end, but hey, they already agreed it wasn't such a bad decision.

Something about Agesandros offering him his hand, though, makes Hythlodaeus's heart swell with warmth. Being together with his friend, so different and yet undeniably the same, despite the tumult of both their future and past... it feels like a miracle in its way. He takes Hades's hand, entwining their fingers together, as though hoping to transfer his affection through the simple touch.

He's uncharacteristically silent on their way back, lost in his thoughts. The knowledge that they might never get to experience aught like this back in their own world weighs on him again, and a small part of Hythlodaeus wonders whether this was a good idea at all. What would he do if they failed here? How would he be expected to deal with his own fate, with that which awaits Hades? Admitting his feelings only made Hythlodaeus all the more terrified of losing his friend--an unworthy thought, perhaps, given the selfish nature of such fear, but he, too, is only a man. Love is both a foible and a blessing not so easily shaken off.

He finds himself stealing brief glances at Hades as they walk, as though studying his appearance, the differences and similarities between his features and those of Hades he knows.

"...Why did you choose that body?"

Unbeknownst to his friend, similar thoughts tumble through his mind. But unlike them, he's had time to ready himself for his inevitable fate. He curls his fingers into Hythlodaeus' own, gaze turned upwards to gaze at the sky as they walk.

It doesn't occur to him that the matter weighs so heavily upon Hythlodaeus. The man used to make light of serious issues all the time - although, thinking back, nothing they ever debated is truly more serious than what faces them now.

The minutes pass by in silence until Hythlodaeus speaks up. Hades glances at him then, then down, brow furrowing.

"...The man whose visage I took, Solus sas Galvus, was from a respected military family. He showed promise and ambition, but most importantly he commanded respect amongst his peers. He was perfectly suited to rise through the ranks and command legions. Such was the admiration the Garlean people gave him that they elected to make him emperor of their own will."

A snort and shakes of his head. "Of course, 'twas all my doing. My contrivances, attached to his name, which spurred his and Garlemald's rise to power. I took him over when he was young - roughly the age you see me as now. I made sure to snuff out his soul quickly and painlessly when I did."

Snuff out his soul... then it is as Hythlodaeus feared. There's a quiet exhale of breath from him, almost dejected, and then he stays silent for a time, looking off to the side.

"...A cruel and sad thing to do."

His voice is quiet, sorrowful. It's true that his friend has always helped the souls to cross into the Underworld, but there is a difference between doing so for those who are ready to cross and those who are not. Though he fully believes that Hades would not make the man suffer, the thought of it is still unpleasant and almost chilling. Like killing an animal meant for food.

Hades feels his stomach drop but does not respond. Perhaps it had been a cruel and sad thing to do, but he hadn't cared then. The man had simply been a pawn to use in a long-term game - a pawn who would rise far above their station and lead a nation to war. After all, with their incomplete soul, they weren't much better than any of the other living creatures populating the star. The mortal races never raised a fuss when those were killed. The best Hades can do is grant them dignity in death, for he sees no point in being needlessly cruel.

Eventually, he releases Hythlodaeus' hand and shoves both his own in his pockets. The contented glow from earlier fades, leaving him with the chill of the winter day.

Honestly, the heavy silence speaks more than words ever can.

Hythlodaeus does not protest when Hades releases his hand - he can more than understand how his friend must feel at being told something like that. Maybe it would have been easier if he'd retaliated somehow. The gloomy, tense silence isn't something Hythlodaeus is used to between the two of them, and for almost the first time in his life he doesn't know how to break it.

He sighs quietly, picking over words in his mind. Is there anything he can say? He does not know nearly enough to offer anything other than his direct reaction to the fact. At the same time, heavens know what kind of things his friend will imagine if he offers no response for too long.

"Would you speak of it with me, Hades?"

Hythlodaeus turns his head to look at his friend at the question. Eye contact is the least he owes to the severity of the matter.

He can feel Hythlodaeus' eyes on him but he steadfastly keeps his on the ground. He knew it: his deeds are too horrific to be forgiven. Not that he expected any - but he's afraid to delve deeper into his past, afraid to see the love and affection turn to horror, afraid that his friend will stop seeing him as Hades and start seeing him as the monster he truly is.

Rather than wait for that inevitable cut-off, he lashes out pre-emptively.

"Speak of what?" he snaps. "Of how I fought in wars and killed men and women with my own two hands? Of how I ordered the deaths of thousands upon thousands many more to expand Garlemald's might and territory? Of turning a blind eye to the abuse and discrimination 'twixt Garlean and conquered peoples because I wanted rebellion, I wanted instability? Everything I involve myself in turns to dust, Hythlodaeus. Whether that's nations, lovers, or even the children I sire. All fades away. All perish - and someday, I, too, will join them. Even if I do not deserve it."

The bitter tension radiating from Hades, his terse tone and cruel words make Hythlodaeus's stomach drop. He does not, cannot comprehend the things his friend is talking about - so distant is the mortal world to him with its violence and ever-present death. Yet even if his mind and heart refuse to accept it, imagination paints its scenes of cruelty before him - of Hades killing others, of bodies piled up in burning cities, of conflict and suffering...

It's a lot to take in, a lot to think about, all the more difficult because of being unable to distance himself from the situation emotionally. Hythlodaeus exhales deeply, stays silent for a time, hands curling into fists uncertainly. What is he meant to do here?

But despite Hades's protestations, Hythlodaeus refuses to see his friend as someone willing to watch all such things dispassionately. If he had changed that much, Hythlodaeus would have noticed. Wouldn't he?..

In contrast to the other man, he raises his head to look up at the sky, finally finding his voice. His words are quiet but firm - if Hades means to be stubborn in his defeatism, Hythlodaeus has more than enough stubborness to go in the opposite direction. Ever they would balance each other...

"I have not faded away yet. I have not perished yet. It may be different in your time, but here and now, I am alive."

Putting it into words like that makes something twist in his chest. Hythlodaeus sucks in a deep breath, turns abruptly to grab Hades by the shoulders, his grip almost painful.

"So don't you dare."

His lips pull back into a snarl. He tries to wrest away but Hythlodaeus' grip is too tight.

"You've done a fine job of attempting to woo me, Hythlodaeus, but it won't last. We both know this. Or are you telling me you're happy to be seen in the company of one who has sent so many to their deaths?"

The last bit is said loudly enough to draw a few eyes, but thankfully they seem to think better than to interject, instead hurrying on past the apparently-quarrelling couple.

Hades glares up at his friend meanwhile. "I'm only indulging this," he says past gritted teeth, "because 'twill mean nothing in the end. There is nothing waiting for me past this moment. I have been craving death for centuries and thought I had found it, only to be resurrected to play out some farcical, sexual fantasy in an obscene city! And now-- now you're here. As if the fates hadn't been cruel enough already."

He balls up his fists, nails digging hard enough into his palm to almost draw blood. "What point is there to a romance that will last a year, if that?" he hisses. "I might as well die now and save us both the heartbreak."

Well, if Hades has been wondering about what else might render Hythlodaeus speechless, all of that was quite enough. He draws back, face growing pale, his expression beyond hurt and shocked. He was expecting an outburst, but nothing of that magnitude.

He seems to struggle to find words for a time, his lips trembling as his mind races to--piece of all this together, understand what his friend is trying to say... or rather, trying to hide. Oh, if only he would be willing to meet Hythlodaeus halfway, at least once in his damn life, at least in something as serious as this.

He bites at his lip to the point of pain, feeling the anger well up in him - and maybe it's too hard not to give in to it.

"Indulging this?.. Do you think me a child to fool with pretty words and empty promises 'til I leave you alone, content in my delusion? If I am so much nothing to you, then why did you agree to this? You had every right to turn me down. You did not. And now you would blame me and hide because you fear pain?"

He reaches out to grab Hades's collar, pulling the man towards himself roughly.

"Twelve, hundred, thousand millennia, I care not: how dare you let yourself forget me? How dare you think me so shallow? No, you've made your choice, Agesandros. And you shall live with it, be it for a year, be it for less or longer. And I swear to the stars themselves that if you dare run, I shall hunt you down myself. Don't think I won't."

His expression twists in anguish. He reaches up to grip Hythlodaeus' wrists, his heart beating so erratically he feels short of breath.

"Forget you? Forget you?! I couldn't forget you even if I wanted to, you absolute buffoon of a man!" he shouts. "When I crafted your shade, I gave you and you alone the self-awareness to carry out my final will. But I am not such a fool as to think that you would ever return my love after learning the full scope of my deeds. I destroyed seven worlds, Hythlodaeus, and brought about the ruin of several civilisations besides. Is that the sort of man you fell in love with? Is it?!"

His hands are shaking and there's bile rising in his throat, but he ignores it. Shoves the feeling down and locks it tight and tells himself again that he deserves every sort of judgement he gets for what he has done. And yet, staring up at his friend's face, he finds himself grabbing their own shirt front, yanking them down, and kissing them full on the mouth.

He parts shortly after, entire body trembling.

"Don't be mistaken," he whispers. "I have loved you for a very long time. You and Azem both. I planned to make you happy for as long as we remained here. That's all."

Whatever reply Hythlodaeus might have readied dies on his lips, both literally and metaphorically, when Hades kisses him--yet at the same time he cannot help thinking that no, he really hasn't changed. What an utter fool, the same as he's ever known him. The sheer physical surprise lasts long enough, however, that Hythlodaeus does not have the chance to return the kiss, but maybe it's for the best, because Hades's next words just cement the understanding in his mind. Same as ever. Same as ever.

Instead of replying, he leans in again to press a kiss to the third eye and then pulls his friend into a hug, resting his cheek against the side of his head - at least this way Hades won't need to notice his tears, even if they're not particularly ones that Hythlodaeus would want to hide.

"Twelve thousand years, and you are still just as clumsy at expressing how you feel."

Hythlodaeus doesn't think he knows anyone else who would mix together wanting to make someone happy and so vehemently denying any worth of the relationship.

Affectionate as he feels, however, it's not like he can even afford to ignore Hades's words. The scope of it still feels surreal to him, and he knows that he cannot in good conscience promise his friend forgiveness or absolution.

But at the same time, damn him if he'll just let him stew in the self-hatred and fear of affection.

"...Though 'tis true I do not know nor understand the full scale of your deeds, this I can say: from what I have seen of you, you are still very much the man I knew. Older, bitter, beaten down, but still as stubborn and foolish and caring. And you should know that 'tis my duty as your friend not to run from your mistakes and misdeeds, but judge and scold and bring you back."

His breath catches in his throat. The Warriors of Light have hugged him before, showed their affections in their own small ways, and this hug feels no different. His eyes heat up, threatening to shed tears into his friend's long hair. But...tempted though he is to return the hug, he finds he cannot. His arm hovers over Hythlodaeus' back...and then falls back to his side.

"Why...?"

Why are you so kind?

It's too much to bear: tears begin to roll silently down his cheeks.

He exhales, softly, fondly, as he wraps his arms around his friend tighter, bringing up a hand to stroke through his hair. The motion and slight shift of position at least help shield Hades from outside view somewhat; Hythlodaeus can't help wishing he'd waited until they were back so they would have some privacy for their little scene at least.

"Because I love you, you old fool. And should you forget again, I shall remind you. In public and so floridly that the embarrassment you feel will never let you forget again."

Oh.

His cheeks colour and he quickly hides his face in the crook of Hythlodaeus' neck. He had temporarily forgotten that they were in public. Now that his attention has been drawn to it, it feels like there a multitude of eyes on their persons, judging or perhaps silently commenting on the odd pair and their outburst.

"Shut up," he grouses. "If you do that, I will refuse to speak to you."

He makes a small but profoundly irritating smug hum, his lips stretching in a grin. That's more like it.

"Whatever shall I do at such cruel refusal? Here I thought to shower you with flowers! Picked by myself, worry you not, not bought ones." Hythlodaeus chuckles, patting his friend's hair again. What a good thing that he is so easy to embarrass and annoy.

"Let us go home, Agesandros. Before I make you dance here with me."

As if readying to execute his threat, he shifts his hold on the man, one arm around his waist, the other hand on his shoulder.

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emet will live to regret those words once beetle happens

hyth is just Regrets Central

someone: why do you like him; emet, putting a ring on hyth's finger: i do not

emet, kissing Hyth passionately in bed: I hate him actually

i fully expect that to actually happen at one point

with Felih watching and grinning madly

hades denies it afterwards

bites Hyth and leaves a hickey - see? he hates him

THAT IS NOT HOW THAT WORKS

IT IS NOW (also headcanon ahoy)

its good headcanon and delicious angst :9

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