He halts of course. He doesn't understand why it matters so much but it apparently does matter to Hythlodaeus if he's telling him to wait. As his friend compares the crystal to Hades, he finds himself scrutinising the colour. Why yellow...?
The mage has never considered his own personal looks as worthy of being imitated in any form of art. Even Solus' portrait had simply been another tool of propaganda.
"Why do you need me to choose the colour of a rock? Do you want me to critique the colour? The clarity or hue?"
He stares at the lavender stone. Held the way it is, he can suddenly, immediately see the similarity between it and his friend's eyes.
A flush of embarrassment rushes through him. Telling himself not to react and give Hythlodaeus the satisfaction of his belated realisation, he crosses his arms and adopts a scowl.
"If you are matching them to our eyes, why is that one mine then? Surely it should be the other way around."
He stares at the stone in his hand, forgetting for a moment that he's supposed to be looking stern. He rolls it between his fingers, feeling the rough edges. Its cold surface quickly warms in his palm.
"I-- Oh, alright..."
He holds the stone flat in his palm, comparing it now to Hythlodaeus' features. "I suppose it does match your eyes."
Despite usually being quite unabashable, Hythlodaeus finds himself feeling flustered. He tucks a strand of hair behind his ear as a way to ground himself.
"Well, I suppose I should have waited until they were actually made... But you know I'm not good at being patient at times."
Hythlodaeus takes a deeper breath, his expression turning more solemn. It's now or-- well, it's now or later, actually, but he would rather not leave his partner with a botched attempt at proposing.
"Though it has been but a few moons, I... I've had a lot to think about. What you've told me about our star, about what happened to us and what you've been through... It made me realize quite a few things."
Hythlodaeus looks up at his partner, a shy smile on his face, and reaches out to take his hands, then slowly entwine their fingers together. His heart is beating all the faster, but he presses on.
"Namely... just how important you are to me, and how much I wish for your happiness. I want to see you smile again. I want to be able to protect you. I... I want to be with you for as long as I can, and beyond that, too. So..."
Hythlodaeus lowers himself down on one knee, still holding Hades's hands - even if his palms are getting sweaty from nervousness.
"If you would have me--would you be my bonded, Hades?"
He stares down without truly seeing Hythlodaeus' face. Become his...bonded? How many times has he heard or said the words to mortal lovers? How bitter the ceremonies had always been as he hid his true feelings behind smiles and caresses, thinking only of his service to Zodiark, thinking that none truly understood the meaning of the term any longer. A bondage of two souls sounds pretty on paper but the ancients could take it far more literally.
Hades knows he once would have blustered, maybe hemmed and hawed for show because, back then, his friends knew him well enough to understand his moods. They understood him as a person. But Hades isn't sure he himself knows who he is any more after twelve millennia of unspeakable acts of terror and cruelty.
Yet Hythlodaeus would offer a bond regardless knowing only that which he allows to surface.
Hades can feel his eyes heating up with tears and turns away abruptly to save some semblance of face. He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve the happiness this promises and yet...he's weak.
"You know if we do this then Zodiark's influence may touch you..." he says, voice muffled.
Hythlodaeus watches Hades's reaction with bated breath, and it's almost a relief to see him tear up. As far as he's concerned, it means that the answer is "yes"; Hades merely struggles to accept it himself.
"But my soul is part of Zodiark already, is it not? I'm certain it will be fine. I know how to handle myself."
It seems that Hythlodaeus isn't worried about the implications at all - one might wonder if he truly understands them. He beams, springing up to his feet, and then pulls Hades close to hug and spin him.
He lets out an undignified squawk as Hythlodaeus spins them around. He can't manage a smile, even now when anyone else would be ecstatic, but his cheeks have an undeniable flush.
"What if I don't?" In contrast to Hades, Hythlodaeus is grinning happily, not willing to let go yet. Besides, isn't it appropriate for him to hold his bonded?
That sends a wave of warmth through Hythlodaeus, too. He always basks in the rare compliments Hades dishes out, and he doesn't at all dislike his slightly more honest nature now.
"Hmm?~ So all those times you would scold me for being childish, were you actually enjoying it?"
Hythlodaeus smiles more softly, resting his head against Hades's in turn. It's... Nice to simply hold each other like this.
"Mm... But if I hadn't, I'm certain you would have ended up chief of the Bureau of the Architect. And knowing your work ethic, I doubt you would have had many chances for a nap there, too!"
"And yet I dimly recall being bothered frequently at the Capitol so I can only assume you let your second in command take the burden of your work."
He allows himself the faintest of smiles now, unseen. It's gone by the time he lifts his head to gaze upwards (upwards!) at his lover.
"I've not bonded with anyone since our star's sundering," he murmurs. He fidgets with the end of Hythlodaeus' braid. "Did you wish to-- now? Or...later, mayhap..."
He doesn't remember the social convention for this sort of thing.
Something about seeing Hades play with his hair makes Hythlodaeus's heart skip a beat. Perhaps it's simply the intimacy of such gestures, but--he does find himself overcome with the desire to kiss his partner. Almost his bonded, now.
"Why not now? We are alone, after all..." Hythlodaeus murmurs back, his hand cupping Hades's cheek. And, if Hades doesn't reply quickly enough, he's going to just lean in and kiss him, gentle but thorough.
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Hythlodaeus certainly isn't going to let him go, reaching out to grab his friend's hand.
"I've already picked yours out. This one is for me, and I need you here to get it right. Look at me, now."
He holds up the gem again, confident that Hades will obey. Hades may realize that the gem is, in fact, quite a bright shade of yellow.
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The mage has never considered his own personal looks as worthy of being imitated in any form of art. Even Solus' portrait had simply been another tool of propaganda.
"Why do you need me to choose the colour of a rock? Do you want me to critique the colour? The clarity or hue?"
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"Oh, if you are going to do that, I need your opinion on the stone I chose for you. Here, take a look."
Hythlodaeus turns back to the little pile of gems and picks out another one. This one is a lavender colour; a very familiar lavender colour.
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A flush of embarrassment rushes through him. Telling himself not to react and give Hythlodaeus the satisfaction of his belated realisation, he crosses his arms and adopts a scowl.
"If you are matching them to our eyes, why is that one mine then? Surely it should be the other way around."
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Hythlodaeus steps closer, taking one of Hades's hands to place the stone in his fingers.
"You did say you wanted to have a piece of me with you. I thought this might be a nice symbol of that..."
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"I-- Oh, alright..."
He holds the stone flat in his palm, comparing it now to Hythlodaeus' features. "I suppose it does match your eyes."
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"Doesn't it? That's why I wanted to make sure mine fits your eyes, too. After all..."
He pauses, taking Hades's other hand and resting it against his own chest, over the heart. Hades may notice it's beating faster than usual.
"I want to always have a piece of you with me, too."
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"Rather morbid, don't you think? Carrying my eyes with you?"
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"They're not your literal eyes, Hades! And I did not think of making them into any eye-shaped amulet... Although I might now."
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But he sighs. Protection is protection, whatever form it takes. He holds the crystal back out for Hythlodaeus to take.
"Just...do not make it hideous. Please."
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"Worry not, 'twas merely a jest. I was actually thinking of making them into matching jewelry. Rings, mayhap?"
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Oh gods above, surely Hythlodaeus didn't mean--
"Why... why rings?"
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"Well, I suppose I should have waited until they were actually made... But you know I'm not good at being patient at times."
Hythlodaeus takes a deeper breath, his expression turning more solemn. It's now or-- well, it's now or later, actually, but he would rather not leave his partner with a botched attempt at proposing.
"Though it has been but a few moons, I... I've had a lot to think about. What you've told me about our star, about what happened to us and what you've been through... It made me realize quite a few things."
Hythlodaeus looks up at his partner, a shy smile on his face, and reaches out to take his hands, then slowly entwine their fingers together. His heart is beating all the faster, but he presses on.
"Namely... just how important you are to me, and how much I wish for your happiness. I want to see you smile again. I want to be able to protect you. I... I want to be with you for as long as I can, and beyond that, too. So..."
Hythlodaeus lowers himself down on one knee, still holding Hades's hands - even if his palms are getting sweaty from nervousness.
"If you would have me--would you be my bonded, Hades?"
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Hades knows he once would have blustered, maybe hemmed and hawed for show because, back then, his friends knew him well enough to understand his moods. They understood him as a person. But Hades isn't sure he himself knows who he is any more after twelve millennia of unspeakable acts of terror and cruelty.
Yet Hythlodaeus would offer a bond regardless knowing only that which he allows to surface.
Hades can feel his eyes heating up with tears and turns away abruptly to save some semblance of face. He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve the happiness this promises and yet...he's weak.
"You know if we do this then Zodiark's influence may touch you..." he says, voice muffled.
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"But my soul is part of Zodiark already, is it not? I'm certain it will be fine. I know how to handle myself."
... Well. Trust him to be cheery about it.
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"Fine," he says roughly. "Fine, but-- do not say I didn't warn you."
And if what Hythlodaeus finds in the bitter remnants of his soul is more than his friend can bear, well...well, he's used to being alone, isn't he?
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"Hades!~"
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"A-alright, stop that!"
The objection is half-hearted at most.
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"Such a child sometimes," he mumbles. But he rests his cheek against Hythlodaeus' shoulder, warmth creeping into his chest. "I missed that about you."
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"Hmm?~ So all those times you would scold me for being childish, were you actually enjoying it?"
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Granted, it had been his choice to adopt a more serious bearing as they matured. Someone had to provide the more realistic perspective.
"I'll never forget you foisting this title on to me and depriving me of centuries of afternoon naps."
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"Mm... But if I hadn't, I'm certain you would have ended up chief of the Bureau of the Architect. And knowing your work ethic, I doubt you would have had many chances for a nap there, too!"
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He allows himself the faintest of smiles now, unseen. It's gone by the time he lifts his head to gaze upwards (upwards!) at his lover.
"I've not bonded with anyone since our star's sundering," he murmurs. He fidgets with the end of Hythlodaeus' braid. "Did you wish to-- now? Or...later, mayhap..."
He doesn't remember the social convention for this sort of thing.
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"Why not now? We are alone, after all..." Hythlodaeus murmurs back, his hand cupping Hades's cheek. And, if Hades doesn't reply quickly enough, he's going to just lean in and kiss him, gentle but thorough.
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