Despite usually being quite unabashable, Hythlodaeus finds himself feeling flustered. He tucks a strand of hair behind his ear as a way to ground himself.
"Well, I suppose I should have waited until they were actually made... But you know I'm not good at being patient at times."
Hythlodaeus takes a deeper breath, his expression turning more solemn. It's now or-- well, it's now or later, actually, but he would rather not leave his partner with a botched attempt at proposing.
"Though it has been but a few moons, I... I've had a lot to think about. What you've told me about our star, about what happened to us and what you've been through... It made me realize quite a few things."
Hythlodaeus looks up at his partner, a shy smile on his face, and reaches out to take his hands, then slowly entwine their fingers together. His heart is beating all the faster, but he presses on.
"Namely... just how important you are to me, and how much I wish for your happiness. I want to see you smile again. I want to be able to protect you. I... I want to be with you for as long as I can, and beyond that, too. So..."
Hythlodaeus lowers himself down on one knee, still holding Hades's hands - even if his palms are getting sweaty from nervousness.
"If you would have me--would you be my bonded, Hades?"
He stares down without truly seeing Hythlodaeus' face. Become his...bonded? How many times has he heard or said the words to mortal lovers? How bitter the ceremonies had always been as he hid his true feelings behind smiles and caresses, thinking only of his service to Zodiark, thinking that none truly understood the meaning of the term any longer. A bondage of two souls sounds pretty on paper but the ancients could take it far more literally.
Hades knows he once would have blustered, maybe hemmed and hawed for show because, back then, his friends knew him well enough to understand his moods. They understood him as a person. But Hades isn't sure he himself knows who he is any more after twelve millennia of unspeakable acts of terror and cruelty.
Yet Hythlodaeus would offer a bond regardless knowing only that which he allows to surface.
Hades can feel his eyes heating up with tears and turns away abruptly to save some semblance of face. He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve the happiness this promises and yet...he's weak.
"You know if we do this then Zodiark's influence may touch you..." he says, voice muffled.
Hythlodaeus watches Hades's reaction with bated breath, and it's almost a relief to see him tear up. As far as he's concerned, it means that the answer is "yes"; Hades merely struggles to accept it himself.
"But my soul is part of Zodiark already, is it not? I'm certain it will be fine. I know how to handle myself."
It seems that Hythlodaeus isn't worried about the implications at all - one might wonder if he truly understands them. He beams, springing up to his feet, and then pulls Hades close to hug and spin him.
He lets out an undignified squawk as Hythlodaeus spins them around. He can't manage a smile, even now when anyone else would be ecstatic, but his cheeks have an undeniable flush.
"What if I don't?" In contrast to Hades, Hythlodaeus is grinning happily, not willing to let go yet. Besides, isn't it appropriate for him to hold his bonded?
That sends a wave of warmth through Hythlodaeus, too. He always basks in the rare compliments Hades dishes out, and he doesn't at all dislike his slightly more honest nature now.
"Hmm?~ So all those times you would scold me for being childish, were you actually enjoying it?"
Hythlodaeus smiles more softly, resting his head against Hades's in turn. It's... Nice to simply hold each other like this.
"Mm... But if I hadn't, I'm certain you would have ended up chief of the Bureau of the Architect. And knowing your work ethic, I doubt you would have had many chances for a nap there, too!"
"And yet I dimly recall being bothered frequently at the Capitol so I can only assume you let your second in command take the burden of your work."
He allows himself the faintest of smiles now, unseen. It's gone by the time he lifts his head to gaze upwards (upwards!) at his lover.
"I've not bonded with anyone since our star's sundering," he murmurs. He fidgets with the end of Hythlodaeus' braid. "Did you wish to-- now? Or...later, mayhap..."
He doesn't remember the social convention for this sort of thing.
Something about seeing Hades play with his hair makes Hythlodaeus's heart skip a beat. Perhaps it's simply the intimacy of such gestures, but--he does find himself overcome with the desire to kiss his partner. Almost his bonded, now.
"Why not now? We are alone, after all..." Hythlodaeus murmurs back, his hand cupping Hades's cheek. And, if Hades doesn't reply quickly enough, he's going to just lean in and kiss him, gentle but thorough.
"Alone..." He doesn't get the chance to say any more. Hythlodaeus kisses him firmly and it's all the convincing he needs to fall silent. His cheeks grow hot; embarrassingly, he realises that he's more...eager than he realised for this to happen.
When they part, he can't look his friend directly in the eye. But he tugs Hythlodaeus closer so that their bodies can be as closely aligned as their souls.
"Bond with me," he says hoarsely. It's no longer a question. "Before I lose you again. Please."
Hythlodaeus wraps his arms around Hades in response, pressing him closer, and it feels both flustering and flattering to realize just how excited Hades is for this.
Instead of an answer he simply kisses his partner again - more chaste this time, and more than a little likely just to tease - and closes his eyes, starting to mingle his aether with Hades's. His heart is thundering in his chest and his cheeks are flushed, too; after all, he's never bonded with anyone either, and Hades... Hades was - and is - his first love. Wouldn't anyone be flustered in this situation?
There's no changing of minds once this is done. Hades' aether twines and melts into Hythlodaeus' embrace as they kiss, accepting and giving all at once. It's impossible to lie about one's true self this way. It's impossible to walk away untouched. All his anger, loneliness, resolve, despair at life impresses itself upon Hythlodaeus just as his friend's love and untainted joy similarly find him.
They could become one. Truly become one, if they so wished. Hades has to admit the temptation is there, to simply fold in and let the weight of millennia be shared across two souls. He resists with great effort - but he can't help gently backing Hythlodaeus against the wall, illustrating just how much he wants to be joined with his newly-bonded via his hips.
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"They're not your literal eyes, Hades! And I did not think of making them into any eye-shaped amulet... Although I might now."
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But he sighs. Protection is protection, whatever form it takes. He holds the crystal back out for Hythlodaeus to take.
"Just...do not make it hideous. Please."
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"Worry not, 'twas merely a jest. I was actually thinking of making them into matching jewelry. Rings, mayhap?"
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Oh gods above, surely Hythlodaeus didn't mean--
"Why... why rings?"
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"Well, I suppose I should have waited until they were actually made... But you know I'm not good at being patient at times."
Hythlodaeus takes a deeper breath, his expression turning more solemn. It's now or-- well, it's now or later, actually, but he would rather not leave his partner with a botched attempt at proposing.
"Though it has been but a few moons, I... I've had a lot to think about. What you've told me about our star, about what happened to us and what you've been through... It made me realize quite a few things."
Hythlodaeus looks up at his partner, a shy smile on his face, and reaches out to take his hands, then slowly entwine their fingers together. His heart is beating all the faster, but he presses on.
"Namely... just how important you are to me, and how much I wish for your happiness. I want to see you smile again. I want to be able to protect you. I... I want to be with you for as long as I can, and beyond that, too. So..."
Hythlodaeus lowers himself down on one knee, still holding Hades's hands - even if his palms are getting sweaty from nervousness.
"If you would have me--would you be my bonded, Hades?"
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Hades knows he once would have blustered, maybe hemmed and hawed for show because, back then, his friends knew him well enough to understand his moods. They understood him as a person. But Hades isn't sure he himself knows who he is any more after twelve millennia of unspeakable acts of terror and cruelty.
Yet Hythlodaeus would offer a bond regardless knowing only that which he allows to surface.
Hades can feel his eyes heating up with tears and turns away abruptly to save some semblance of face. He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve the happiness this promises and yet...he's weak.
"You know if we do this then Zodiark's influence may touch you..." he says, voice muffled.
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"But my soul is part of Zodiark already, is it not? I'm certain it will be fine. I know how to handle myself."
... Well. Trust him to be cheery about it.
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"Fine," he says roughly. "Fine, but-- do not say I didn't warn you."
And if what Hythlodaeus finds in the bitter remnants of his soul is more than his friend can bear, well...well, he's used to being alone, isn't he?
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"Hades!~"
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"A-alright, stop that!"
The objection is half-hearted at most.
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"Such a child sometimes," he mumbles. But he rests his cheek against Hythlodaeus' shoulder, warmth creeping into his chest. "I missed that about you."
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"Hmm?~ So all those times you would scold me for being childish, were you actually enjoying it?"
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Granted, it had been his choice to adopt a more serious bearing as they matured. Someone had to provide the more realistic perspective.
"I'll never forget you foisting this title on to me and depriving me of centuries of afternoon naps."
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"Mm... But if I hadn't, I'm certain you would have ended up chief of the Bureau of the Architect. And knowing your work ethic, I doubt you would have had many chances for a nap there, too!"
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He allows himself the faintest of smiles now, unseen. It's gone by the time he lifts his head to gaze upwards (upwards!) at his lover.
"I've not bonded with anyone since our star's sundering," he murmurs. He fidgets with the end of Hythlodaeus' braid. "Did you wish to-- now? Or...later, mayhap..."
He doesn't remember the social convention for this sort of thing.
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"Why not now? We are alone, after all..." Hythlodaeus murmurs back, his hand cupping Hades's cheek. And, if Hades doesn't reply quickly enough, he's going to just lean in and kiss him, gentle but thorough.
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When they part, he can't look his friend directly in the eye. But he tugs Hythlodaeus closer so that their bodies can be as closely aligned as their souls.
"Bond with me," he says hoarsely. It's no longer a question. "Before I lose you again. Please."
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Instead of an answer he simply kisses his partner again - more chaste this time, and more than a little likely just to tease - and closes his eyes, starting to mingle his aether with Hades's. His heart is thundering in his chest and his cheeks are flushed, too; after all, he's never bonded with anyone either, and Hades... Hades was - and is - his first love. Wouldn't anyone be flustered in this situation?
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They could become one. Truly become one, if they so wished. Hades has to admit the temptation is there, to simply fold in and let the weight of millennia be shared across two souls. He resists with great effort - but he can't help gently backing Hythlodaeus against the wall, illustrating just how much he wants to be joined with his newly-bonded via his hips.