emet_sulk | [avalon] IC Inbox

Admiring the teamwork again?

[She tries to cover up her nervousness with casual conversation, sitting on a rock in the shade by his feet. Maybe getting him talking will help her discern his mood.]

Never worked on a ship before, admittedly... but the swimming part was fun. Did you come to watch?

...I did.

[ He gazes out over the beach, beyond the ship, towards the horizon. A vista he never tires of seeing but one which also fills him with immense longing.

He thinks of the power that needs to be sunk into the bedrock to trigger an earthquake and, in turn, a tsunami. One large enough to swallow the land surrounding this little city. ]

There is some merit to what that fool says sometimes, [ he mutters, barely audible over the shifting tide. ] Watching is its own pleasure.

Ah...

[She lapses into silence, one that extends longer than she initially means to stretch it. But her mind keeps throwing traitorously bad things at her, even though objectively she knows this should hardly be a friendship breaker, and it makes her hesitate several times before she manages to get to the point.]

Can I talk to you for a minute? Or at you, I guess, if you're not interested in reciprocating?

[ He shifts in place then eventually shrugs, still not looking at her. It's hard to accept, even now, that they will have opposing views on warfare. A bitter reality that will continue on and forget the likes of him and Hythlodaeus and all the rest.

At least he isn't walking away? ]

[There is that. If he wanted to remove himself from the situation and not hear of it, he'd do so.

So, she tries speaking.]

Listen, I... I'm sorry, all right? It was really not the time nor the place to talk about that. I knew it would sour your mood, but I didn't expect things to be this bad... so I'm sorry for bringing it up.

[ He's silent a while longer, lips pressed together. Then-- ]

Why must you always fight...

[ It's a low, frustrated mutter. ] Though you apologise, you do not take back the sentiment. Would you not rather see more of this-- [ he points to the ship ] --than bloodshed?

Of course I would. I never meant to say war was preferable. And I don't think it will happen in this case... not with all this.

[Her ears flatten.]

I have fought in wars before. I've fought together with the Domans, the Ala Mhigans, the Bozjans. Those situations are all a little different, granted, but picking fights with others is not a pleasant pastime for me. I just...

[She can't rightly take it back, not when she has everything to lose over one kingdom's petty stubbornness. Perhaps it's because he doesn't that he can't see beyond his own circumstances.]

I don't want my world to end. Flawed and imperfect as it is, I still love it.

Your world is not going to end because one kingdom of fae decide they won't have anything to do with us.

[ He turns to her abruptly, seething. ]

What does it matter what they think? Let them withdraw behind their borders. That Camelot's king would even consider waging war in response reflects more poorly on him than it does on the fae. I would not want anything to do with a man who seeks cooperation through coercion. That you would join him even as a last resort is quite frankly disappointing.

[ He looks back towards the ship, enjoyment marred by the resentment burning in his breast. ]

Worlds do not end when dialogue breaks down. They end because one side decides to substitute might for rhetoric.

[ Hydaelyn. ]

[Irhya stares at him, mouth agape as his point settles. She stays like that for a moment, then slowly wilts.]

I... I'm sorry. I don't really know what to say.

[Besides, even if she did take it back, would it even have any effect? The damage has already been done. Taking a step back, she looks at the ground.]

Should I just... go?

[ He draws back, biting his lip. Although there are no words for the disappointment he feels - especially off the back of that hope he'd had for them, for all of them - he doesn't want her gone. ]

No... I...

[ Frustrated, he turns away. In the end, there's no seeing completely eye-to-eye with her or the rest of her kin, is there? Their desired outcomes cannot co-exist. It had been easier to accept defeat when there had been no hope of his world or his people ever returning.

But all that has changed now. What wouldn't he give to go back...? He's so homesick it makes him feel ill. ]

Just once, [ he says in a low, resentful voice, ] I would like to not see negotiations end in war. We seem to have avoided such this time, but it should never have been put on the table to begin with. I want to believe... I want to believe.

[She doesn't say anything for a moment. It's no secret that she doesn't understand, can't understand -- so words of sympathy would feel empty. Instead, she moves closer to him again and puts a hand in his, tentatively.]

As long as we've avoided it. Though I'll admit... I was uncertain what to think of the monarch letting us decide with going straight to war as an option. Maybe...

[Irhya doesn't finish that sentiment, continuing to look down.]

[ He lets the word hang in the air before he slowly sinks down to join her on the sand, knees drawn up and arms resting on top. His gaze continues to be sullenly fixed on the sea. ]

He is not our king. We are not obliged to follow his will.

[ Please stay with me this time. ]

[She goes with him, marginally encouraged by his disinclination to sulk off and instead take the time to work this out with her. At his statement, she nods with a hum of agreement.]

I'm sorry. It was a stupid thing to get into. And for what it's worth... I didn't trust him much to begin with. When there are figures of authority in a position of holding information like this, things are never entirely what they say they are. Personal experience.

...'Tis not easy, being the sole figure of authority of a kingdom or a nation. Much hinges upon the decisions they make and such decisions can have consequences which echo throughout time decades or centuries afterwards. Without being able to see the effect of such choices, a man can only flounder within his limited purview.

[ He sighs and rests his head upon his arms. ] Not even I could fashion a perfect empire on my own...

That is true, but remember, your intent from the beginning wasn't so much the longevity of the empire so much as the chaos it could sow. Perhaps if things had been different...

[She eyes him for a good, long moment, though that's not to say she doesn't understand where he's coming from. Which is why she follows up.]

From what I understand, this particular king isn't quite mortal either, though it sounds as if there was a long period between his first tenure and his current one. But I haven't found reason to think his motives are as pure as all the talk surrounding him would have me believe.

He died.

[ The answer is short and abrupt. ]

He died and this isle was to be his final resting place. More than that I do not know. The accounts of those who know him differ and I doubt that man, Merlin, will be forthcoming with details.

[ A few moments of brooding silence, then-- ]

I wonder if he, too, wishes he had stayed dead.

[Her voice sounds rawer than she wants it to when she replies. Damn it.]

Could be. The dead never quite come back right, after all, even if he doesn't appear to be as unhinged as Emperor Xande.

[Who Emet probably knew personally, in some capacity. It does make her wonder if Garlemald was his first attempt at direct reign, if he'd only tried to manipulate from the shadows until then... but it's likely there were plenty of reasons to take a more direct approach the next time around, if so.]

Is it truly better not to remember your own death? One would think a virtuous man would take that experience, despite all the pain surrounding it, and use it to prevent making the same mistakes again...

Do you have even the slightest idea how traumatic death is to the soul?

[ His voice is flat as he looks her way, expression devoid of humour. ]

I have been poisoned, strangled, decapitated, put to the torch, drowned, been crushed, been torn apart, had numerous weapons tear through my body in various places - and that is with the knowledge I would outlive my temporary vessel of flesh. Mortals fear death far, far more than one of my nature does.

When Xande was resurrected, it did not surprise me at all to see him turn to nihilism. Rare is the man who glimpses the shore on the other side and returns entirely sane. And so I would not be surprised to hear that the wizard is keeping his king together behind the curtains.

[Irhya opens her mouth as he lists off his various deaths, then closes it. That... wouldn't be surprising, that Merlin is actually the one pulling most of the strings because Arthur isn't quite himself anymore.]

The same can be said of you too, huh?

[Her ears tilt down.]

There are some who see it as traumatic, and others who see it as restful. I look at you Ascians sometimes, and I can't help but feel that perhaps living forever isn't as much of a blessing as it's made out to be. Especially when the world is like it is.

Look... I know our opinions on this are always going to differ. We came from different worlds entirely, different societies with different values. I'm all right with that. I can't be perfect, but I do my best with everything else. I just hope you have enough tolerance now to understand that, too.

[ Curling up, he drops his head on to his arms. The image of his old friend in the cavern's hot spring yet remains fresh in his mind. Though he realises now the danger he had been in, he craves the illusion. That's why he rebuilt Amaurot's facade and populated it with ghosts. That's why he's so afraid to lose Hythlodaeus.

Illusions are all he has left.

His fingers dig painfully into his upper arms. His voice is thick and muffled. ]

Tolerate it I must, for I lost my battle against the Warrior of Light I know and that means the future is yours to shape, as I have said. But that won't make it any easier to bear. 'Tis a future I and my people have no place in. We who were caretakers of the star and who cherished and nourished it...

[ He falls silent, throat seizing up. He tells himself fiercely that he isn't going to cry. ]

[There is little more she can do; nothing she says will seem any more but hollow, coming from her. She gets up onto her knees and puts a hand on his hair, peering in to try and catch a glimpse of his eyes.]

I know. I'm sorry.

[But she can't just leave it there, or they'll end up right back where they started. Mayhap if she can distract him...]

Listen, do you want to... I don't know, take a walk or something? I know sunny beaches aren't exactly your thing, but maybe it'll calm you down.

[ He did like beaches before, he thinks, but he keeps that to himself. It would only sour things again.

His head lifts slightly. No tears, but he looks on edge. ]

...Alright.

[ He's slow to uncurl but he gets to his feet, brushing off the sand before offering her a hand up. ]

[Did Amaurot have beaches? She can't help but wonder if he'd ever been to one, before. But staying on that topic will probably just drive things right back into depressing territory, and she's aiming to avoid that... much though she longs to know.]

And now that I have you up again... do you swim, by any chance?

[A grin. She's fully expecting to be rebuffed on this one, but she does enjoy swimming, excessive sand be damned.]

I know how to swim.

[ He gives her a shrewd, sidelong look. ]

But I did not bring a bathing costume with me.

So?

[The reply is airy as she leads him to the water's edge, slipping off her boots and socks and tossing them just out of the reach of the waves.]

It's fine. All you have to do is take your shoes off, right?

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I never got the notif for this ;_;

bad DW

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