emet_sulk | [avalon] IC Inbox

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If you were directed here by Hythlodaeus, kindly inform him that any messes he creates are his responsibility to clean up.

If this is Hythlodaeus: Please act like a bureau chief for once in your life and stop referring complaints to me.

(A place for private network messages or overflow threads from Isle of Avalon!)

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Hythlodaeus breathes out a slightly shaky sigh as he wraps his arms around Hades tighter, stroking his friend and lover's hair in an attempt to soothe him.

"...Did you truly have any other choice, Hades? I've... given thought to it. Our people... we do not know how to cope with such losses. We've never had to. We were never meant to. Mortals walk alongside death - painful, violent, pointless death, - from the very moment they are born. Yet even they, so much more used to it, cannot stand it for long. What, then, could be asked of you? Of one of us? Each one of our people would gladly give themselves to ensure happiness of others. Was that not what you were trying to do?"

"It was," he agrees quietly. And there he falls mute, shaking, crying silently into his friend's shirt. All he had wanted was a return to those peaceful, idyllic times.

It doesn't take as long this time for him to pull himself together. He clutches Hythlodaeus a little more securely, curling up.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I'm sorry. Whatever choice I make here, I condemn a world. Forgive me for this selfish desire to see you live, 'Daeus..."

Once more, and all the more keenly these days, Hythlodaeus feels that thin despair of being unable to reach out for his friend's soul, not truly. It had gone from annoyance to frustration to now panic at the realization that that part of his world is gone, truly gone, much like his Sight.

To make up for it he gently runs his hands down Hades's back in slow, affectionate motions, even as tears well up in his own eyes.

"...A fool you are and a fool you've always been, Hades," he whispers hoarsely. "How could I blame you when I wish for the same for you? To see you happy and safe once more, to know that you never need bear this burden again? If only I could--"

Hythlodaeus breaks off as a sob squeezes his chest. He clings to Hades, fingers digging into his clothes, as though he fears his friend would disappear were he to let go.

"Do you truly think you make that choice alone? If you would put blame upon yourself for this, then I share it in full! Were my life enough to change the fate of our world, I would have given it without a single thought! But we are forced to choose, and how are we meant to choose to let our people die?"

It's not like him, maybe, but a breaking point comes for everyone, sooner or later. Hythlodaeus has to bring up a hand to his face, covering his eyes and biting at his lip as burning tears stream down his cheeks.

"Why is it us who must perish?.."

Hearing Hythlodaeus break down is heartbreaking. He holds his friend and lover more tightly, biting his lip. He has not gotten much better at offering comfort over the years though he knows the motions.

"I don't know," he says numbly. "I don't know..."

'It's unfair!' everyone cries at him when it is their turn to go. 'Unfair?' he wants to scream back at them. Unfair? Theirs was the first people. Theirs had been as close to an idyllic paradise as one could achieve. Did the mortal races not long for peace? For harmony? For mutual understanding and cooperation? Their people had all that and it had been taken away.

What god or gods had they offended to deserve their fate?

"...I don't want to die," he whispers, tears welling once more in his eyes.

Hythlodaeus only holds him tightly, tightly in response, chest shuddering with quiet sobs.

"I won't let you," he whispers in reply. "I won't let you. I can't--I cannot lose you, Hades, I can't... I can't lose everyone..."

Once again the fear of solitude grips his heart; to be left so alone, as alone as Hades and Lahabrea and Elidibus had been... it's more than Hythlodaeus can stand, and the mere thought makes him want to scream. He tries to find comfort in holding his friend close, in the warmth of his skin and the beating of his heart, but--it's not enough. All too keenly he feels the need for that feeling of unity, the comfort and safety of being able to join their souls brought. Not even becoming one, but simply... being with each other.

"...I miss you," Hythlodaeus whispers, nuzzling into his friend's hair. "I miss you so much, Hades..."

He cries and cries until he can cry no more. Centuries, millennia of unshed tears pouring forth on his friend's shoulder. And when they finally begin to cease, he leans heavily against Hythlodaeus trying not to sniffle too loudly. Isn't HE supposed to be the composed one?

But he's been acting like the pieces are all there for so long that a simple tap is enough to shatter him.

"Just one world," he whispers. "One world where it doesn't end. Where we can live forever, watching over our beloved star."

Cupping Hythlodaeus' face, he kisses the other man softly, sweetly. "I'm here," he says hoarsely. "I'm here..."

Perhaps the only upside to this is finally being able to give Hades a space to cry - something sorely needed yet unreachable because his friend would not let himself be vulnerable. Hythlodaeus holds him close as he cries, stroking his hair, whispering soft reassurances through his own tears.

Just one world where it doesn't end... and Hythlodaeus finds himself thinking that maybe there is no need for such lofty goals as stewardship of their star. Just one world where they can just... be, live alongside their people, in peace and harmony and love, without the constant pain and fear that accompanies the life of mortals.

He kisses back just as sweetly, letting himself feel the warmth of Hades's lips on his. Please, he prays to whatever gods might be listening, please let them never have to lose each other. Let them finish their journey here, save their star, and go home. Together.

"I love you," he murmurs, pulling his friend close to rest their foreheads together. "I love you so... With all my heart, with all I have. I'll... I'll bring you home, Hades."

He smiles sadly. He does not have it in him to disabuse Hythlodaeus of his desire. So instead he kisses his friend one more time and twines their fingers together.

"I would like that," he says quietly. What an even bigger fool he is for loving a fool of a man. "In the meantime, would you remind me of all that I have forgotten? Of our peaceful days together?"

Hythlodaeus smiles through the tears, squeezes Hades's hand gently. If only they never needed to be parted again...

"Of course I will. Anything and everything that you want, Hades. Perhaps if I can create a memory crystal of my own, I'll be able to help you relive it once more..."

"I can fashion the vessel for you," he says. "I can do that much at least. A combination of our magicks...as we once did before."

That surely isn't out of the realm of possibility here. Everything he has read thus far leads him to believe it is. Finally shifting his weight of Hythlodaeus, he settles beside his friend and buries his face against their chest.

"I suppose after the culinary exploits I have seen, cutting bread lengthwise isn't the worst crime in the world..."

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[avalon] IC Inbox

:')!!!!

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when will we stop making ourselves sad oh my god

n e v e r

arises from the grave to be sad again

lays you back in it neat and proper :')

Re: lays you back in it neat and proper :')

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