[ Indeed, he can tell his friend is upset. So instead of returning to the topic at hand, he comes closer to inspect what Hades is working on (if there is a chair to sit down on, he'll pull it up to the workbench). ]
What are you working on?
[ The inquiry is genuine; Hythlodaeus knows Hades can need some time to open up. ]
[ There is only one other stool for Hythlodaeus to pull up. Hades doesn't usually entertain more than one guest at a time here. ]
One of the crew - Professor Turo - he taught me some of the runes used in his world used to manipulate space. I'm hoping to use it to accelerate the development of more complex machinery.
It seems I can make them work through my aether. Which makes me wonder if the means by which these tattoos allow us our magic has a...common source, so to speak. It may be that we can learn techniques of other worlds in a limited fashion.
[ He nudges the crystal over so Hythlodaeus can study it. His friend will be able to see that the flow of magic is incomplete - it's supposed to form some kind of matrix with other runes. ]
[ He looks it over, eyes following the patterns; instinctively, he tries to guess what the complete design should look like. ]
Interesting... I've been wondering how exactly over powers are sealed and how we are granted a measure of them through these tattoos. I thought them to be a conduit to our respective stars of some sort, but if we are able to call upon the magicks of each other's star... Then either the workings of aether are the same on all of them, or we draw upon the same source of power while here. Mayhap we simply subconsciously choose to manifest this power in ways that are familiar to us.
[ Hades pushes over a sheet of paper with a diagram of what he intends to be the completed design. It's mostly a theoretical practice piece for now. Anything within the space 'shrinks', which would theoretically allow one to build a larger machine and then minimise it. The only issue he foresees is safety, should the runes be damaged in a crash. ]
Mm. Perhaps. For now, all that matters is that it works.
[ He starts on the next crystal while Hythlodaeus is left to his perusal. Now might be a good time to bring up that earlier topic...? ]
[ If you ask him, another safety issue is someone putting their hand into the shrinking diagram. For better or for worse, the person they know who is most likely to do that is not here, but certainly there are others out there who would try their luck like this. ]
Indeed. And if it's possible to build a device that enlarges things, it could be a great saving in provisions.
[ Well, of course he's going to be a little silly about things. But not too much. He speaks again, not looking up from the paper yet - the lack of eye contact is a way of giving Hades some space. ]
I am sorry for bringing back painful memories. However unintentional it was.
[ He snorts quietly. Hythlodaeus surely knows that spatial magicks don't function that way. How else would the buildings of Elpis contain such vast biomes?
He avoids eye contact and is silent for a few moments. ]
...It's fine. You couldn't have known.
[ He never explicitly said he occupied mortal bodies during those long years let alone started families while living as one. ]
[ He nods, then lets the silence linger for a moment. It's rare that Hythlodaeus has to be so careful with his friend; usually it's being flippant and pestering Hades that does the trick. But it's certainly not appropriate here.]
Will you tell me?
[ He tips his head slightly to look sidelong at Hades; initiating contact, but still giving his friend enough space to sort through his thoughts and feelings.]
[ He fidgets, staring at the crystal in his hands. Memories of his-- Solus' firstborn flash before his eyes. He remembers feeling pride, a small kindling of hope, and a wavering of the conviction which had kept him to his duty all these millennia past. Until that supposedly healthy son was taken from him.
Hythlodaeus is waiting patiently for him to explain. Hades swallows past the lump in his throat. ]
I...lived several mortal lives. It was necessary, sometimes, to guide the world towards the calamity we needed. I found that it was easier to build an empire when I was the one at its helm rather than leaving it to the whim of some egotistical madman with delusions of his own grandeur. Of course, by necessity, I had families. Children.
[ His fingers curl tightly around the crystal. ]
My most recent family...I had two sons with the wife I chose: Lucius and Titus. When Lucius was born, I felt such potential from him. I cannot explain why. He clearly took after his mother in stature. As he grew older, he did not disappoint either in his studies or martial prowess. I had never been prouder or more hopeful for his future...
And then he was struck down by sickness. He died within days. Just like that, the future I had envisioned for him was also gone. Barely over a score of winters, scarcely in the prime of his life, it was over - and all the hope I had harboured for him fled like so much smoke. I was reminded of what a fragile and unnecessarily cruel life Venat left our people with, and I resolved to see my duty through to its end.
[ Hythlodaeus listens quietly, his brows furrowing. The events of this future world are so far from anything Hythlodaeus has ever experienced, they always sound to him like some sort of a fever dream. And for someone like Hades, an endless nightmare.
Hythlodaeus knows that his friend is more sentimental than him, someone who cares greatly about people around him (which, Hythlodaeus thinks, is why he made a great Emet-Selch - back when the titles of the Convocation yet meant anything). And of course Hades would care even more fiercely about those close to him.
For once, he is uncertain of what to say; it feels like any condolences he can offer would only fall flat, coming from someone who's never experienced true loss.
So what he does instead is move his stool closer to Hades's, and puts an arm around his friend's shoulders, leaning against him slightly. Hades likely never told anyone about this, and thus never had the chance to grieve; perhaps what Hythlodaeus can do is give him that chance. ]
[ He leans against his friend. When he does, he's surprised to find his shoulders shaking. He had done his mourning as Solus, publicly, but not in private. How could he let anyone, even his then-wife, see him weeping for his son? He had tamped down the grief, swept it away and buried it deeper than the graves of his dead children.
But here, where there is no-one to see, no-one except Hythlodaeus whom he can tell doesn't quite understand but also somehow understands well what Hades needs of him - the grief overtakes him and he silently begins to cry.
He had been a terrible father to so many of his children. He could never raise them the way he truly wanted to. The Rejoining of the shards had always been at the forefront of his mind. He knew Lucius would have led Garlemald to even greater heights, perhaps even been more loved than Solus himself. The people's ardour would have spurred them to crueller acts of blind faith, which in turn would fuel the fires of revolution, and then...
Well, Garlemald had always been meant to collapse someday. ]
I cannot watch another child of mine die, Hythlodaeus, [ he whispers. ] I can barely bring myself to befriend the mortals here as it is.
[ His taller height here means that Hythlodaeus can rest his cheek against the crown of Hades's head, while his free hand seeks out his friend's. It's almost a full embrace now. ]
But you still strive to do your best for them. Even now.
[ Otherwise, why would Hades take the role of a captain, or even sit at this workbench, trying to puzzle out the magicks of another world? ]
I have never met a more caring man than you, Hades.
Azem is the selfless one. This whole time, you and they were the only ones I wanted returned to me when the shards rejoined. I could not have cared less about anyone else.
[ He keeps seeking out their memory in all the friendships he makes. Yet it's impossible for anyone to know him to the same depth that his two oldest friends do. Not in such a short lifespan. ]
You say that, yet you loved Lucius enough to grieve for him so.
[ Hythlodaeus shifts his pose slightly, getting more comfortable.]
I think that you would have sought out his soul after the rejoining. And even though you would know that 'tis a different person, you would still worry for them and wish for them to know happiness.
[ He wants to object. Say that he would never remember the colour of a soul so diluted to be able to apply it in its true form. But he had never forgotten his two closest friends, had he?
Drawing in a soft, shuddering breath, he turns his face into Hythlodaeus' shoulder and mumbles. ]
You've no concept of grief yet you know what to say all the same. I almost wish you would berate me sometimes.
[ Hythlodaeus gives a small huff of amusement at that. ]
Then I'll be certain to find things to scold you for later.
[ He shifts again, this time to rest his hand on Hades's head, gently stroking his hair. ]
I may not know grief, but I know you, my friend. And... I've given thought to what I would feel, if you and Azem were taken from me so suddenly. If our star perished and I was left alone in such a manner.
[ Well, not entirely alone, of course - but neither Hades nor Hythlodaeus himself were that close with Elidibus and Lahabrea. And no matter what, those two could never replace the company of his dearest friends, the people he lives for. ]
I wanted to die countless times. And I did, living those mortal lives, watching my children live and die in the span of a breath. But after every death I would wake again and the cycle would continue. The same mistakes dressed in different clothing.
[ His tears are slowly drying. He closes his eyes and lets the gentle motion of Hythlodaeus' hand comfort him. ]
I pray you never experience such bitter loss while we're here. I feel like it would break you more than it did me.
[ Hythlodaeus's reply is quiet as he stares at nothing in particular, lost in thought. Even though he tries, it's so difficult for him to imagine what Hades went through. The one thing Hythlodaeus knows is that losing his friends, unable to meet them or even return to the star with them, would be the most painful and terrifying thing for him. How would he handle millennia of that?..
Hythlodaeus closes his eyes and sighs, chasing that thought away for now. There's no use in trying to figure out something like that right now; he would rather focus on consoling his friend. ]
I understand now why you were so shaken when I arrived. I don't want to lose you, too.
[ The suggestion is not entirely unexpected - Hythlodaeus was wondering about asking, too. A part of him laments at the circumstances: normally this would give him so much space to poke fun at Hades and likely provoke embarrassment from him. But right now there is a measure of trepidation (though Hythlodaeus is not averse to the idea at all): would he be able to withstand what Hades wants to share? Would he still be able to support his friend afterwards, or will he be the one who needs consolation? ]
Great minds think alike, hmm? I was thinking about asking you to show me.
[ Though there is trepidation, Hythlodaeus puts it aside easily. He wants to know; he wants to be able to help Hades, even if it's simply through sharing his feelings. That said, though... ]
But first, how about I make some tea? A nice little something for us to come back to.
[ He huffs quietly and sits up straight, rubbing away the tear tracks on his cheeks. He's not sure how Hythlodaeus will take it but he will be here to support his friend, just as they did. ]
The tea is over there... There's a kettle-- ah, you remember how to operate it?
[ The wondrous convenience of magitech!.. That is still not quite as convenient as ancient magic. :(
And, well... Hythlodaeus gives the kettle a brief glance. At least he knows the first step: fill it up with water! Then..?
He looks back at Hades questioningly, although the real question is whether he actually doesn't remember or is trying to distract the man from gloomy thoughts. ]
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[ Or, well, as soon as he can. It takes him some time to get to the Forge.
He knocks on the door perfunctorily before coming in. ]
Hello, Hades.
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...Mm.
[ And then he drops his gaze back to his work. He seems to be drawing an arcane design into the surface of a crystal. ]
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What are you working on?
[ The inquiry is genuine; Hythlodaeus knows Hades can need some time to open up. ]
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One of the crew - Professor Turo - he taught me some of the runes used in his world used to manipulate space. I'm hoping to use it to accelerate the development of more complex machinery.
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Would it work here? I thought 'tis only through these tattoos that we are able to manipulate our magicks.
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[ He nudges the crystal over so Hythlodaeus can study it. His friend will be able to see that the flow of magic is incomplete - it's supposed to form some kind of matrix with other runes. ]
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Interesting... I've been wondering how exactly over powers are sealed and how we are granted a measure of them through these tattoos. I thought them to be a conduit to our respective stars of some sort, but if we are able to call upon the magicks of each other's star... Then either the workings of aether are the same on all of them, or we draw upon the same source of power while here. Mayhap we simply subconsciously choose to manifest this power in ways that are familiar to us.
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Mm. Perhaps. For now, all that matters is that it works.
[ He starts on the next crystal while Hythlodaeus is left to his perusal. Now might be a good time to bring up that earlier topic...? ]
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Indeed. And if it's possible to build a device that enlarges things, it could be a great saving in provisions.
[ Well, of course he's going to be a little silly about things. But not too much. He speaks again, not looking up from the paper yet - the lack of eye contact is a way of giving Hades some space. ]
I am sorry for bringing back painful memories. However unintentional it was.
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He avoids eye contact and is silent for a few moments. ]
...It's fine. You couldn't have known.
[ He never explicitly said he occupied mortal bodies during those long years let alone started families while living as one. ]
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[ He nods, then lets the silence linger for a moment. It's rare that Hythlodaeus has to be so careful with his friend; usually it's being flippant and pestering Hades that does the trick. But it's certainly not appropriate here.]
Will you tell me?
[ He tips his head slightly to look sidelong at Hades; initiating contact, but still giving his friend enough space to sort through his thoughts and feelings.]
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Hythlodaeus is waiting patiently for him to explain. Hades swallows past the lump in his throat. ]
I...lived several mortal lives. It was necessary, sometimes, to guide the world towards the calamity we needed. I found that it was easier to build an empire when I was the one at its helm rather than leaving it to the whim of some egotistical madman with delusions of his own grandeur. Of course, by necessity, I had families. Children.
[ His fingers curl tightly around the crystal. ]
My most recent family...I had two sons with the wife I chose: Lucius and Titus. When Lucius was born, I felt such potential from him. I cannot explain why. He clearly took after his mother in stature. As he grew older, he did not disappoint either in his studies or martial prowess. I had never been prouder or more hopeful for his future...
And then he was struck down by sickness. He died within days. Just like that, the future I had envisioned for him was also gone. Barely over a score of winters, scarcely in the prime of his life, it was over - and all the hope I had harboured for him fled like so much smoke. I was reminded of what a fragile and unnecessarily cruel life Venat left our people with, and I resolved to see my duty through to its end.
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Hythlodaeus knows that his friend is more sentimental than him, someone who cares greatly about people around him (which, Hythlodaeus thinks, is why he made a great Emet-Selch - back when the titles of the Convocation yet meant anything). And of course Hades would care even more fiercely about those close to him.
For once, he is uncertain of what to say; it feels like any condolences he can offer would only fall flat, coming from someone who's never experienced true loss.
So what he does instead is move his stool closer to Hades's, and puts an arm around his friend's shoulders, leaning against him slightly. Hades likely never told anyone about this, and thus never had the chance to grieve; perhaps what Hythlodaeus can do is give him that chance. ]
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But here, where there is no-one to see, no-one except Hythlodaeus whom he can tell doesn't quite understand but also somehow understands well what Hades needs of him - the grief overtakes him and he silently begins to cry.
He had been a terrible father to so many of his children. He could never raise them the way he truly wanted to. The Rejoining of the shards had always been at the forefront of his mind. He knew Lucius would have led Garlemald to even greater heights, perhaps even been more loved than Solus himself. The people's ardour would have spurred them to crueller acts of blind faith, which in turn would fuel the fires of revolution, and then...
Well, Garlemald had always been meant to collapse someday. ]
I cannot watch another child of mine die, Hythlodaeus, [ he whispers. ] I can barely bring myself to befriend the mortals here as it is.
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But you still strive to do your best for them. Even now.
[ Otherwise, why would Hades take the role of a captain, or even sit at this workbench, trying to puzzle out the magicks of another world? ]
I have never met a more caring man than you, Hades.
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Azem is the selfless one. This whole time, you and they were the only ones I wanted returned to me when the shards rejoined. I could not have cared less about anyone else.
[ He keeps seeking out their memory in all the friendships he makes. Yet it's impossible for anyone to know him to the same depth that his two oldest friends do. Not in such a short lifespan. ]
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[ Hythlodaeus shifts his pose slightly, getting more comfortable.]
I think that you would have sought out his soul after the rejoining. And even though you would know that 'tis a different person, you would still worry for them and wish for them to know happiness.
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Drawing in a soft, shuddering breath, he turns his face into Hythlodaeus' shoulder and mumbles. ]
You've no concept of grief yet you know what to say all the same. I almost wish you would berate me sometimes.
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Then I'll be certain to find things to scold you for later.
[ He shifts again, this time to rest his hand on Hades's head, gently stroking his hair. ]
I may not know grief, but I know you, my friend. And... I've given thought to what I would feel, if you and Azem were taken from me so suddenly. If our star perished and I was left alone in such a manner.
[ Well, not entirely alone, of course - but neither Hades nor Hythlodaeus himself were that close with Elidibus and Lahabrea. And no matter what, those two could never replace the company of his dearest friends, the people he lives for. ]
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[ His tears are slowly drying. He closes his eyes and lets the gentle motion of Hythlodaeus' hand comfort him. ]
I pray you never experience such bitter loss while we're here. I feel like it would break you more than it did me.
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[ Hythlodaeus's reply is quiet as he stares at nothing in particular, lost in thought. Even though he tries, it's so difficult for him to imagine what Hades went through. The one thing Hythlodaeus knows is that losing his friends, unable to meet them or even return to the star with them, would be the most painful and terrifying thing for him. How would he handle millennia of that?..
Hythlodaeus closes his eyes and sighs, chasing that thought away for now. There's no use in trying to figure out something like that right now; he would rather focus on consoling his friend. ]
I understand now why you were so shaken when I arrived. I don't want to lose you, too.
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[ He lapses into silence for a few minutes. Then, hesitantly: ]
I could show you, if you wish...? Not my memories, but the feeling of loss so that you understand and do not repeat our people's apathy.
[ Of all people, he trusts a merger with Hythlodaeus. However brief it may or may not be. ]
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Great minds think alike, hmm? I was thinking about asking you to show me.
[ Though there is trepidation, Hythlodaeus puts it aside easily. He wants to know; he wants to be able to help Hades, even if it's simply through sharing his feelings. That said, though... ]
But first, how about I make some tea? A nice little something for us to come back to.
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The tea is over there... There's a kettle-- ah, you remember how to operate it?
[ The wondrous convenience of magitech! ]
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And, well... Hythlodaeus gives the kettle a brief glance. At least he knows the first step: fill it up with water! Then..?
He looks back at Hades questioningly, although the real question is whether he actually doesn't remember or is trying to distract the man from gloomy thoughts. ]
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switches format bc lazy
prose is so much easier on the phone tagging
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