He grips the hand. There's a tightness in his chest that makes it hard to breathe. It has been many moons since he has felt this level of despair and he struggles to keep it from showing.

"You are aware of how Hydaelyn sundered our star, yes...? It was Venat," he spits past gritted teeth. "It was she who tore the world apart. Who scattered our people's souls across fourteen shards and fought to keep us from rejoining them. She--" His voice breaks and, to his horror, he finds tears welling in his eyes again. His other hand takes Hythlodaeus' shoulder in a vice-like grip. "Why am I alive, 'Daeus?" he shouts. "Why did she have to spare me?! If I had to die then why could I not have been sundered with all the rest?!? I don't want to remember! I don't want to be alone! What else was I supposed to do?!"