He shifts in place slightly to ease the prickling in his calves. Dragging his gaze back around (though still not looking Hythlodaeus in the eye), he replies, pink-cheeked.

"After you first had me...yes. I would dream about you as we lay in bed together, imagine you laying your hands upon me in the dark, whispering those embarrassingly sweet words of yours in my ear - yet I hated myself for wanting you, blaming that city for introducing in me a thirst I could not quell alone. 'Twas a thirst which only grew worse after we joined our souls together for the first time."

He gently rubs the fine hairs at the nape of his lover's neck.

"When I was alone in that gaol, I thought of not only you but Irhya and Felih. I pushed you all away to spare you the pain of parting, for I had already known it once and couldn't bear to experience it again. But left to myself, all I could think of was how much I missed you all. So when we were finally home again, I...could not help myself."

At long last, he makes himself look Hythlodaeus squarely in the eye, heart fluttering unsteadily as he deliberately pitches his voice low. "Even if I were to seek out bliss on my own, neither my own hand nor my own thoughts would suffice. I need you, 'Daeus. Tell me what you want of me so that I may find it."