His expression twists in anguish. He reaches up to grip Hythlodaeus' wrists, his heart beating so erratically he feels short of breath.
"Forget you? Forget you?! I couldn't forget you even if I wanted to, you absolute buffoon of a man!" he shouts. "When I crafted your shade, I gave you and you alone the self-awareness to carry out my final will. But I am not such a fool as to think that you would ever return my love after learning the full scope of my deeds. I destroyed seven worlds, Hythlodaeus, and brought about the ruin of several civilisations besides. Is that the sort of man you fell in love with? Is it?!"
His hands are shaking and there's bile rising in his throat, but he ignores it. Shoves the feeling down and locks it tight and tells himself again that he deserves every sort of judgement he gets for what he has done. And yet, staring up at his friend's face, he finds himself grabbing their own shirt front, yanking them down, and kissing them full on the mouth.
He parts shortly after, entire body trembling.
"Don't be mistaken," he whispers. "I have loved you for a very long time. You and Azem both. I planned to make you happy for as long as we remained here. That's all."
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"Forget you? Forget you?! I couldn't forget you even if I wanted to, you absolute buffoon of a man!" he shouts. "When I crafted your shade, I gave you and you alone the self-awareness to carry out my final will. But I am not such a fool as to think that you would ever return my love after learning the full scope of my deeds. I destroyed seven worlds, Hythlodaeus, and brought about the ruin of several civilisations besides. Is that the sort of man you fell in love with? Is it?!"
His hands are shaking and there's bile rising in his throat, but he ignores it. Shoves the feeling down and locks it tight and tells himself again that he deserves every sort of judgement he gets for what he has done. And yet, staring up at his friend's face, he finds himself grabbing their own shirt front, yanking them down, and kissing them full on the mouth.
He parts shortly after, entire body trembling.
"Don't be mistaken," he whispers. "I have loved you for a very long time. You and Azem both. I planned to make you happy for as long as we remained here. That's all."